when i render in 3d (aka in stereo) i can't seem to get it took look 3d through my glasses (home made) are they the problem or do i need to preview it differently? (so far i have tried .8 and .2)
You'll need different layers at varying depths in the Z axis for it to look 3D. That way the software figures out how to separate the 3D images at varying distances. Try it with 2 layers, put one back -2 in the z axis and the other 2 in the z axis and render.
There are several variables at play here - what would be really helpful is if you can post a demo image or the actual file so we cam see what is happening ... I have done a lot of stereo output with ASP and it works really well, but it does require some careful pre-planning.