Moho Forum

Hi,
I completed this a while ago, but this is my final short-film from my series, The Scout Saga.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWTNdHGjH1k

It's been rendered in High Definition just so you know, so you can watch in much higher quality.
Created with Anime Studio Pro 5.6 (haven't upgraded yet), drawn with CorelDRAW, lip-synced with the auto lip-sync function cause i can't be bothered to use papagayo (it would take way to long).

Please tell me what you think about it. I hope you enjoy it

Also, here are the other two short-films in this film series:
#1 Night That Was Dark
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLf5L0pkB3w

#2 Nathan and the Boot Factory
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jqj6gm7M2E

Those ones aren't as good as the newest one, but just thought i would mention them anyway.
You can also checkout our website for future projects: www.deemedpathetic.com

Thanks a lot for your time!
wolldo

i thought it was really good, better then i could do at the molment

thanks so much

i'll keep an eye out for yours in the future

Okay, I'm gonna have to try to hold back on my criticism too much. But come on, this is a lazy effort. You should NOT be looking to cut corners on things like lipsync when your character design, voice acting, colour pallette and actual animation standard are, at the moment, sub-par. You should be looking to make the animation the best you can, not rushing it out just so that you can put a video on youtube. Spend some time on character design, rather than using the simplest forms available to you, giving you a derivative "any-kid-could-do-this" style. Using simple forms is perfect for animation, so long as the characters have STYLE. Yours don't. Also, if you can't actually act (be honest with yourself and don't accept mediocrity), then why don't you try to make a silent film? Doing so would allow you to focus your time on the actual animation, conveying the emotion of your characters and such rather than relying on dialogue to drive anything forward.

I'm not trying to push you away from animation, but a well animated 10-second piece is better than a poor effort lasting so long. Take that into consideration. Quality over quantity.

@ above
Thanks for your critisism. I would like to point out, however that I am 15 years old, so I am not an experienced person at this.

However, I prefer to watch the TV shows with crude animation rather than ones with the best animation. Shows such as South Park and The Life & Times of Tim are crude, and thats the main reason why I like them.

The only reason why I cut corners (like the lip-sync) was because I was creating them every few weeks and I was due to show them for my Scout Group (who, apparently enjoyed them) at a set date, so thats the only reason why I did that.

And I have fun doing it this style, and I am trying to improve. Future videos that I produce will be lip-synced properly, as the only reason I didn't do it for this one was because it was far too long.

I hope you understand, and thanks for your critisism it helps

EDIT: Also, can you please compare it with this? (its someone else's video that i found on youtube).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0vf69_vadA

and this (this one's an actual TV Show)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQLwwd1Pltg

Thank you

He has drawn out characters, that actually look real with a nice plot. Yours isn't anything close to that, instead yours is like south park.

Try thinking of something original and just do it.

Wolldo, I agree with da2tha3's criticisms, but I have to say your response is very mature -- not sure I would have reacted like that when I was 15...

And as for the Life and Times of Tim clip, it's obviously the writing that is important, you were right to bring that up. If your writing was as tight and humorous, the lack of artistry in other areas wouldn't have mattered so much. There has to be a moral there somewhere...

Thanks for your critisism. I hope I didn't sound angry in the thing i wrote before :S sorry if i did sound like it. The reason it was mature was because I like writing things, and apparently i am a good writer (for essays, and schools stuff). I really am a 15 year old.

The only thing I wanted for these to have is a plot. I more or less wrote them in one hour. I re-read them and did them. I didn't spend time writing it, and the jokes were more inside-jokes for my Scout group.

I agree with you all that the videos don't have good plots. I really do. I can see that in all the films, someone gets lost or stolen, and then the others are left to find him - i see that. However, can i just ask, apart from the style in the first video (the Night that was dark one) what was like south park in it? Was it the swearing? Because I really want to avoid doing that in the future.

Thanks so much everyone

EDIT: ALso, are you guys able to give me tips on becoming a better writer? I have a book called 'Writing Television Sitcoms' at home, my parents bought it for me, but I haven't actually read much of it. Do you think it would help?
Thanks

I'm not a natural writer or storyteller, and one of the very few books that has been of any practical help in this regard has been "The Art Of Dramatic Writing" by Lajos Egri. It's not an easy read -- you have to keep going back to it and working out what he means. But if you persevere, it really can help with your writing. Hope this helps...

Thanks for your help

I think that cartoons with 'the best' artwork aren't written as well as the crude ones that aren't as artistic. Thats one reason that affects why I do that, except I need to do some catching up on my writing
Poor cartoons rely on cheap, visual gimmicks to portray their message. I believe the cartoonist, 'Luinig' said that, and I agree with it.

Fantastic wolldo! You handled it really well. You're already well on the way if you can accept criticism of your work and look to improve your output.

Didn't realise you were 15, so I apologise. All the same, as a viewer, the criticisms do still stand. You've got lots of time on your side so I don't want to bring down your enthusiasm!

If you are serious about learning the craft of writing, you will read many books on the subject. I myself have dozens of books on the subject and I'm an amateur/dabbler. For an easy read on plot structure, I recommend Syd Field's book _Screenplay_. For a more wider scope, I like Michael Hauge's _Writing Screenplays That Sell_.

wolldo wrote:Poor cartoons rely on cheap, visual gimmicks to portray their message.

Personally, I'm attracted to cheap, visual gimmicks. Let's face it, this IS a visual medium.

But I agree, I'll stay only if the story engages me.

I applaud your attitude too. Keep up the good work.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but writing one meaningful thought is worth more than a million well crafted drawings. However, being a bad artist doesn't mean you'll be a good writer, and being a good writer doesn't mean you'll be a bad artist, but the ones who do both well rise to the top.

But if I had to pick one, writing is king.

thanks for your help everyone. sorry for the late reply, i've been busy with schoolwork.

also, thats probly one reason i hate family guy (even though it is funny, i still hate it). it barely has a storyline and a heap of cutaways that aren't related to anything, so therefore it's random crap. thats my thoughts anyway