Moho Forum

This is an attempt at a parody (it's just part 1) using Anime Studio Debut 9. I would love some feedback!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uj0Jb3GC-ic

I have to be careful giving feedback. I'm just trying to be honest!

Things to improve:
1 - The storyline is just baffling. Do I need familiarity with some show? 'Parody' implies that you're making fun of something, but I don't know what it is.
As things stand, I'm confused.
2 - Walk cycles. With the characters you have, I would stick to just bouncing along. The tomato looks like he/she is speed-skating and doing the can-can at the same time
3 - Readability - What is the dill/cucumber character doing? What is that thing he/she is holding? Where does the knife come in?
4 - Why do they all disappear to hell in some kind of vortex at the end?

On the plus side, it's better than my first animation...!

All things considered, the most important thing is the storyline. If the storyline stinks, then it doesn't matter how appealing the characters are, or how well they are animated.

Thanks for the reply! I appreciate the blunt feedback, how else would I improve? My walk sequences are terrible, I'm actually struggling with it, do you have any tips? Also, this is just part 1 of the parody, Veggie Tales is, from my experience, a Christian show hence why the characters get sucked into hell. I'm clearly very new at this but I appreciate you taking the time to watch it and give me feedback !!

Just a suggestion. If this is a parody of Veggie Tales, the characters shouldn't even have legs; not only would it be more clear that this is a parody of Veggie Tales, but it would also be easier for you to not have to worry about walk cycles.

This is still good work for a first animation. Keep up the good work.

zildatheworrier wrote:My walk sequences are terrible, I'm actually struggling with it, do you have any tips?

Go to youTube.com, type "anime studio walk cycle tutorial" into the search line, and you'll get at least seven pages of walk cycle tutorials. Actually, the one where the tomato walks down the road in 3/4 perspective is really difficult -- lots of experienced animators have trouble with that!

So -- tell a good story, choose your shots carefully, make poses readable. Simple, really...

I like the animation on a sort of rudimentary level. Going in and knowing it was a parody of Veggie Tales, the crudeness of it helped in seeing it as something for children. However, to jahnocli's point, there wasn't a single moment where I understood what was happening. The story could use some sort of explaining on some level.

I really liked the opening credits shot though, very nice.

Ah, now I know it's a parody of Veggie Tales it makes a little more sense. I couldn't (as the others have said) follow the story but as it's only part one maybe it will become clear later on. Like Jahnocli admitted, it's far better than my first animation too