Moho Forum

This is probably the most complicated cartoon I've made so far. Please critique!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gbGOC8DFzE

haha, nice ending. Also, TMNT!!

This one had the probably the best expressions for Nick and Will that I've seen. As for critiques, I think I would adjust the water opacity, to me it was a little too faint as it filled up the furnace room, and at that time in the story the pace seemed to slow a bit, since that was the climax/story payoff, that's probably not where you want the pace to drop.

Nice work

This is so awesome!!

Cool, very enjoyable, it kept my interest the whole way through.
I enjoyed the fun facts if no one else did. I have a bunch of that kind of stuff in my head. Although I call it "useless information" because its not going to make me a better man or more employable. . But I love that kind of stuff. Anyway, back to the subject at hand.
Dude, or should I say? DUDES! I've seen a bunch of these videos on YouTube. Very good stuff. Always very entertaining. So, Pinesal all of those
DeadWeightPictures are yours? COOL, If so, I never made the connection. Good stuff. Is it a little to obvious, that I'm a fan?

HammerJammer

Thanks everyone. You guys are a lot nicer than Newgrounds haha.

Little Yamori the pacing was intentionally slowed to show that Nick and Will are oblivious to the rising water. But if that negatively impacted the cartoon, we will rethink that strategy in the future.

hammerjammer, DeadWeightPictures in the banner Will and I created to place all our cartoons into. They are all joint productions between the two of us.

If you are a "fan" perhaps you'd be interested in our "Bologna Or Not?" series of ebooks. They are on Amazon and they NEED reviews!

PS. hammerjammer, I've watched some of your cartoons before. I like the snowman one a lot.

After about the 2 minute mark or so I have no idea what happened. The ship smashing into the iceberg as fast as it does while the sounds of screams are heard made me laugh so hard I couldn't pay attention to anything else. That's one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. Now I just have to explain to my co-workers why I'l giggling and crying at my desk. WELL DONE!

I love this style. Takes me back to Terry Gilliam's work in Monty Python. Or David Firth's NOT STANLEY series. You pretty much nailed it with those rigs.

I too am a big fan of these two guys. I am also VERY very very... very grateful that time travel is impossible.

p.s. A teeny tiny... itsy bitsy... miniscule criticism... just tiny. The full bright white eye whites always sort of bothered me a bit. They kind of scare me actually. Although this does add a sort of "spooky" and "creepy" kind of vibe. I just kind of thought the eye whites could be just a shade lower than white so they don't look so spooky.

p.s. The one thing I would use a time machine for is to travel back in time to parties and holiday gatherings where there was a ton of food but I just wasn't that hungry and didn't eat much.

Sometimes I get really really hungry... and remember a party I was at that had tons of great food with lots of left overs. I keep thinking "If only I could go back in time and just grab a couple of plates of food from that awesome party last month!". I was at another one on saturday. I ate one plate of food because I was late and they caterers took all the food away before I could get seconds.

If you would like to use this idea for a future episode I offer it freely and no credit needed. I would absolutely love to see these guys bouncing around in time eating food at parties during exciting moments in history.

heyvern wrote: p.s. A teeny tiny... itsy bitsy... miniscule criticism... just tiny. The full bright white eye whites always sort of bothered me a bit. They kind of scare me actually. Although this does add a sort of "spooky" and "creepy" kind of vibe. I just kind of thought the eye whites could be just a shade lower than white so they don't look so spooky.

p.s. The one thing I would use a time machine for is to travel back in time to parties and holiday gatherings where there was a ton of food but I just wasn't that hungry and didn't eat much.

Sometimes I get really really hungry... and remember a party I was at that had tons of great food with lots of left overs. I keep thinking "If only I could go back in time and just grab a couple of plates of food from that awesome party last month!". I was at another one on saturday. I ate one plate of food because I was late and they caterers took all the food away before I could get seconds.

If you would like to use this idea for a future episode I offer it freely and no credit needed. I would absolutely love to see these guys bouncing around in time eating food at parties during exciting moments in history.

Funny you should mention the eyes, we showed this video to someone before we published it and she said the eyes looked lifeless, and we were wondering what that meant and what we could do about it. Perhaps following your suggestion could help with that.

Also, traveling in time for the sole purpose of getting free food at parties is a pretty funny idea. I'll run that past Will and see what he thinks.

Pinesal wrote:Also, traveling in time for the sole purpose of getting free food at parties is a pretty funny idea. I'll run that past Will and see what he thinks.

That it is, as is any use of time travel for something silly. Like getting cheap gas or something. As long as you don't change the theme song.

Danimal wrote:... Like getting cheap gas or something.

YES! That is ANOTHER thing I would use time travel for. CHEAP GAS!

p.s. Quite frankly these "silly" uses for time travel is just as silly as only using teleportation in Star Trek to transport people and equipment around. What a total waste! The ability to "digitize" ANYTHING including people would not be used to move stuff around as its primary function. The main use would be immortality and curing diseases. Periodically teleport out the "junk" that builds up in your cells over the years and stay forever young (Larry Niven). You could beam out food and stay skinny (just like super models). Remember when Riker got duplicated by accident? They would be cloning people up the wazoo. If you got killed by accident, you could simply have a "back up" automatically regenerated (John Varley).

You know dang straight there was a ton of transporter abuse in the Star Trek universe they never made shows about.

Loving this conversation.

Quick critique, and then back to the fun.

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I agree with the dead/creepy eye issue. (If it was my project I'd consider toning down the whiteness and maybe have a little more surrounding facial movement, or possibly cartoonizing the shapes a little more from the start?) but to be honest this style is always going to start heading down into the "uncanny valley" anyway, so you might just have to embrace it.

The positive note regardless is that something like this registers well story-wise even if you had done half as good of a job with the animation...

A lot of great details going on in here. (And I'm all for educational work. ) I think we all learned a lot about what really went down when Titanic went down.
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Beyond that I think this idea of time travel for silly but moderate personal gain is wonderful... If Stephen Hawking questions that if traveling back in time is possible: "where are all the time traveling tourists?"

Look behind you Steve, they're everywhere! They're loading up at the buffet table, they're filling giant canisters at the gas station! They're watching re-runs of their favorite TV shows before they were on nick-at-nite!

Little Yamori the pacing was intentionally slowed to show that Nick and Will are oblivious to the rising water. But if that negatively impacted the cartoon, we will rethink that strategy in the future.

I watched it again, maybe it was just me since no one else seemed to feel it did, if I had to be specific, I think it was the transition to when he made the phone call to the upper decks when I noticed. Anyway, you guys have great dialog and chemistry going on. Really enjoyable.

Thanks again all. It nice to hear good feedback from great animators that I've respected on this forum.

I was wondering if anybody caught the extra scene after the "the end" screen?