Time Machine Part 4! FEEDBACK PLEASE.

[spoooze!]

I didn't get any feedback in the General forum so I'll post here:

Part 4 of "Lucky Bob's Time Machine: Episode 1" is now up! This is the final part of the first segment! So in other words, the first movie is done. I've already started on Episode 2 which will be A LOT better animation wise. Anyway, enough jabber, here is part 4, the last part of Episode 1, but it is only the beginning of Lucky Bob's "epic" edventure!

http://webzoom.freewebs.com/jtn1989/Part%204.mov

If you have NOT SEEN PARTS 1-3 CLICK HERE!

http://home.earthlink.net/~jtn1989/hiya ... /id74.html

OR

Download the full movie (parts 1-4) here:

http://home.earthlink.net/~jtn1989/hiya ... /id71.html

Spoooze!

P.S.
Look for Crazy Dan's name in the credits! He animated a little bit and is currently animating on Episode 2

[Rasheed]

Keep in mind that I'm no professional animator, but here it goes...

Your sense of story development and camera work improves with every new episode.

However as a point of positive critique I think you should approach your action scenes somewhat differently. Good action scenes are often a bit of a surprise. When the audience thinks the scene develops one way, you direct it another way, so there is more "Wow" and less "Yeah, right". Perhaps the fighting character should be less staying put and move more around.

I'm also a bit puzzled about the title cards at the end. I guess you're trying to be funny and get a laugh with this bit. Perhaps you could use some fancyfull letter animation here, to get more kick for you buck. For example the "Oh no, not more title cards...." (btw three periods is enough), could be done something like this:

(Gifworks.com distorted my animGIF a little, see this 40 Kb movie file for a better example.)

This was just an example, I'm sure you can think of much more fancyfull letter animations that would fit the mood you want better than my futile attempts.

Just my 2 cents.

[Rasheed]

Oops, a typo in the text of the title card. I'm just too lazy to correct it. But I think you get the picture anyway.

I'm looking forward to an even better made episode 5, Spooze! .

[spoooze!]

Your sense of story development and camera work improves with every new episode.

Thanks

However as a point of positive critique I think you should approach your action scenes somewhat differently. Good action scenes are often a bit of a surprise. When the audience thinks the scene develops one way, you direct it another way, so there is more "Wow" and less "Yeah, right". Perhaps the fighting character should be less staying put and move more around.

I'm going to work on the fighting scenes this episode. There's hopefully gonna be a lot more moving around ect.
lol I guess I was trying to get it done fast and was too lazy to move them around

Spoooze

[spoooze!]

OOps, I forgot to reply to the Title Card post...

Anyway, here goes

I'm also a bit puzzled about the title cards at the end. I guess you're trying to be funny and get a laugh with this bit. Perhaps you could use some fancyfull letter animation here, to get more kick for you buck. For example the "Oh no, not more title cards...." (btw three periods is enough), could be done something like this:

(Gifworks.com distorted my animGIF a little, see this 40 Kb movie file for a better example.)

This was just an example, I'm sure you can think of much more fancyfull letter animations that would fit the mood you want better than my futile attempts.

lol ya, I was trying to get a laugh out of it.
How did you do the title card? Was it in Moho? I don't think my movie editor (iMovie) has that. Is there a site where I could download that?

Spoooze

[Rasheed]

lol ya, I was trying to get a laugh out of it.
How did you do the title card? Was it in Moho? I don't think my movie editor (iMovie) has that. Is there a site where I could download that?

I know iMovie can't do that (I use it myself occasionally), but you can use title cards from other programs as well. I often used an imported static image, e.g. made in one of the free paint programs I have on my system (Teal, Seashore or The Gimp), and applied fade in and fade out to that in iMovie.

Now I have Moho, I can make animated title cards as well, as you can see. I had to speak out aloud to "lip synch" with the viewers reading, and pause half a second before fading out for possible slow readers in the audience. Perhaps one can use Papagayo and switch layers in Moho for animating titles (and leave out the speech audio in the final movie, of course).

[spoooze!]

Okay, thanks