Any english majors or writer's on the forum?

[bupaje]

Was wondering if there are any pro writer's or english majors on the forum. Just writing a quick storyline for a free game I am working on as part of a team - some crusty old timers set it up so we can get some real experience making a simple sidescroller. I fired off part of a basic storyline but I am not a very organized thinker and I look at the narrative it jumps around. Wanted to see if someone with real know how could take the role of editor and review it and offer suggestions. It's only about 2 pages long thus far.

[cribble]

i'm not exatly one for english, but as far as plot is concerned, i think i've read enough books to realise how a plot should unfold.

please note: you don't have the follow this, in the words of Philip Pullman "My best advice is to ignore advice"

First of all there's your start. Introduce 2 charcaters, the good and the bad. There may be friends, but render them as being almost non-existent and character that no-one cares about.

later you should develop those, meaningless characters into something thats a useful aspect to the story- he might aid the main character or be what the main character is going to get, or release, its a good idea to kill this character as it sets in peril. The main character now wants revenge.

The Plot thickens, the character looses the girl, gets washed up, has a few drinks, he's sick everywhere.. his life sucks.... it takes the token character (a character with a personality trait that is blaintly obvious, like stupidness) to tell him where he's going wrong and what he should do... included this line "think about it" or "you're on your own." Everyone loves a cliche.

The character gets back on his feet, lots of talking, organising stuff that doesnt exist like "You, i want back up at the jim-bobs, suprima dimensia congent tanget at 19:00 hours with a huge load of speritine" or "You, make a BangiOstangiMnananaB.co.uk and install the latest version of clock-count down to insure no one can stop the BangiOstangiMnananaB.co.uk unless i voice active it with the jallopi-magowwwig.com-liflier." everyone loves that too.

After alot of talk like "i banged your , mum and sister.. and i rate your mum a 3/10" ("liar she's more like 9... you'll pay for this"), they run into battle... make this hand combat, you don't want to make this short and sweet now. Actually, make sure there are 2 fights.. one with big machinery and guns and gernades that everyone sh#ts themselfs with the tension.. .then hand to hand combat, with the clothes half ripped off.. sweating... glistening in the light... hmmm.... (joking)... Main characters takes a few blows (you sick?!) and is almost battered, he makes come back and kick the living lights out of him. Make sure he finishes him off with something cheesey like: He's being hung over a cliff and he's all like "help me... i won;t be naughty anymore" and the main characters all like "no" and kicks him off and then say "woops, looks like i let you go," or "thats going to hurt in the morning"

Or do us all a favour and ignore this highly, homo-erotic storyline and edit it so it makes sense... also, don't try and perposly put in funny things... no one will laugh.

and make sure the music is in minor... it's more dramatic that way.

401 posts - 23sept2005

[mr. blaaa]

Cribble is the man with the plan.
BTW: Your Clichees are one of my favourites.

Looks like you also have a faible for "classics"

[cribble]

yeah, i'm highly inspired by great movies: Rocky, Terminator, Universal Soldier... anything with Arnie, Stallon or Curt Russel. THEY ALL HAVE THE SAME PLOT PEOPLE.

[mr. blaaa]

yeah, i'm highly inspired by great movies: Rocky, Terminator, Universal Soldier... anything with Arnie, Stallon or Curt Russel. THEY ALL HAVE THE SAME PLOT PEOPLE.

Well... I meant "classics" like:
-Dr. Schiwago
-Planet of the Apes (Old)+the series
-Citizen Kane
-The Godfather 1+2 (Number 3 is... crap)
-The Birds
-El Cid
-The great dictator
-All Sergio Leone Movies
-All Quentin Tarantino Movies except the Kill Bill Movies
-Platoon
-All Alfred Hitchcock Movies (Especially Psycho, The Rope, Dial M for Murder, The Man who knew to much & The wrong man)
-The Bridge On The River Kwai
-How I Learned to Love the Bomb
-Lawrence of Arabia
-Spartacus
-Naked Lunch
-Thieves like us
-Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
-Full metal jacket
-most Charlie Chan movies
-of course all Walt Disney Classic Cartoons
-Born to Kill
-Apocalypse Now+Redux
-Trainspotting
-Easy Rider
-Human Traffic
-Donnie Darko
-Traffic
-Blow
-L'Haine
-American Psycho 1 (not the second part, this was sh*t as well)

and at least the french controversal brute, violent and vulgar movie "baise moi"

So... some examples above. I dropped a dozen but i don't know the original english titles of all of them---

So, you like some of those classics as well?

[bupaje]

THEY ALL HAVE THE SAME PLOT PEOPLE.

Most do anyway. That's what software companies that create writer's software like http://www.dramatica.com count on; they actually may be responsible for some of it too I guess as you follow a certain process to render a result.

I've talked aout this before. I think the sameness often results from simple economics. Take a sampling of one hundred people and all 100 hundred will have some interest -for good or ill- in food, sex, fear and other 'common denominator' needs. Make a movie that plays on these topics and you have something potentially marketable to all 100 people. Of that hundred there may be 10 that have strong feeling one way or another about women's issues. Create a movie that focuses on that your potential audience is reduced.

This is an oversimplification as some movies are more complex but the concept probably holds true; it's a big consideration for studio executives when they pump tens or hundreds of millions into a film. It's a royal pain for artists who want too have creative control -though some movies may benefit from studio savvy.

As an example Dean Koontz's book Frankenstein (awesome series) was picked up for a movie deal but he dropped out when they kept pushing the movie in directions he didn't agree with.

[cribble]

Well... I meant "classics" like:
-Dr. Schiwago
-Planet of the Apes (Old)+the series
-Citizen Kane
-The Godfather 1+2 (Number 3 is... crap).....
........
....Blow
-L'Haine
-American Psycho 1 (not the second part, this was sh*t as well)


So, you like some of those classics as well?

I do like them, but what i hate about being older now is that i have high expectations (probably why i think my own animations suck) and its given me a rather ignorant view on movies. I think someone once said there was only 8 plots in the entire history of writing (all of which get genred, but they still have the same plots) for instance:

Being vs Being (murder, crime, thriller... well, actually.. anything... even "Jingle all the Way" contains this element)

i can't think of the rest as i've forgotten who said it... it might of been the ol' Shakesphere... research into it.. I'm sure that'll give you a good understanding of storyline.

Very deep subject we're geting into here, good topic.

[mr. blaaa]

...I do like them, but what i hate about being older now is that i have high expectations (probably why i think my own animations suck) and its given me a rather ignorant view on movies.

Nah your animations were always of good quality, dont be too hard to yourself. I checked out your hp and found out that you also make some music. Now "hit me with music", i liked all tracks, BTW i am a drummer so i can definitely say combination of arts makes an artist.

I think someone once said there was only 8 plots in the entire history of writing (all of which get genred, but they still have the same plots) for instance:

Being vs Being (murder, crime, thriller... well, actually.. anything... even "Jingle all the Way" contains this element)

i can't think of the rest as i've forgotten who said it... it might of been the ol' Shakesphere... research into it.. I'm sure that'll give you a good understanding of storyline.

Yeah, maybe there were only 8 the other plotters were referring too.
It's like Quentin Tarantino who learned and copied from Sergio Leone all the time, but i think the personality of the author is the substance x which gives the movies life and their own plot+style.

Very deep subject we're geting into here, good topic.

I like discussing on that too.

Regards, Blaaa

[Rhoel]

Part of my job is to write for a kids TV series (also edit others scripts).

Best advice is to work out the story on paper first, before you start to write the script. Never start at scene one, and just see where it goes. Ut always makes for a bad film. Instead, work out the sequence of what has to happen and when. Think of it as planning a road journey. Its much easier to drive a long journey if you know you have to go via B and C to get to D. Make the trip without planning and you WILL get lost. Plan your route and there won't be any blind alleys or sudden surprises.

If you have a clear beginning, middle and end worked out on paper before you start, it leaves you free to concentrate on the fun part of writing the actual character words and interactions - you no longer have to think about where you are going.

If you write freestyle, you'll waste lots of time and usually end up being over-length. with a story that lacks structure and direction.

As a guide, an animation script runs 30 seconds to the page, not the usual 1 minute as per live action. That is because each shot is described - live action is described by scene and rarely by shot. Describing each shot means more words per page. A 5 minute film will be 10 pages long, with around 50 shots.


Usual Script Format (Font Courier):

Code: Select all

                                                                              FADE UP
EXT. - RIVER BANK - DAY.

Daffy Duck is sitting on the river bank, fishing rod in hand. He looks
bored and downhearted.

                                 DAFFY DUCK (v.o)
                            (pathetically)
               I hate that Buggs Bunny, he's always picking
               on me.

etc.

If you write this way, the actors/voice talent will love you. Makes it easier for them.

5 minute scripts are harder to write than 10 minuters ... this is because you have less time to develop the characters and sub-plots.

Best advise is to have 3 level conflict - think of a problem, then make it worse. Then make it really bad: Now you have an interesting film.

Example: Boy loves Girl - boring story, no conflict. Father hates the boy (now its going somewhere). Father forbids the girl and boy to see each otherl every again (now its getting interesting). Make it really bad - okay, the girl is pregnant (Are you going to switch off now? Didn't thinks so). This is classic 1-2-3 conflict. The rest of the film is how the hero resolves the problem.

If you can pose a question in the first scene with the principal character, it's usuakky good; From one script we used, featuring an accident-prone school boy:

Shot 1: "Guess what I've found? .... ".
Shot 2: "It's a bird nest, and there's an egg in it ....".
Shot 3: "I'm going to get it and start a bird's egg collection".

Just 3 shots into the film and you know he is going to mess up. You also know what the story is about and where we are going.

The other thing to remember is, if something doesn't move the story forward, take it out. This is easier to see when you do a script edit. Usually there is junk in the dialogue which can be ripped out without affecting the story. If the story feels slow, there is something in there which can come out. A good script 'flows'.

We use Final Draft to physically write the script - useful and fast in keeping the layout standard, generating actors recording scripts, planning backgrounds, characters etc. All of those reports can be automatically generated. Saves heaps of time (and money).

It would be easy to write pages on this subject and it wouldn't make you a good writer. At the end of the day, it is just bum on seat and practice.

Hope this helps just a little biit.

Rhoel.

[Rai López]

Hope this helps just a little biit.Rhoel.

...You have not idea (with Scar's voice) THANK YOU!!!

[bupaje]

@Rhoel - thanks for the insight. I hope to start writing some small stuff soon and it is very helpful.