48 Hour Animation Challenge Accepted!

[toast]

Had this idea at lunch and gave myself 48 hours from writing the script to uploading. Let me know what you think!

[Danimal]

The expressions on the two characters were well done, and I liked the backgrounds. The subtle glow of the sun and the atmosphere around the Earth were also quite good.

Not so good: the script and the acting. 30 seconds long and three gratuitous curse words.

[ddrake]

Well, I can't let Danimal's half compliment/half complaint rest as the only response to this

I think this is well done for a 48 hour piece. I like the clean art style. As far as the "foul language," I think the last line would suffice, but I think the acting was fine for what this was. My guess is you didn't really do a voice acting casting call in 48 hours?

At any rate, I like the idea of concept-to-completion challenges to really force productivity. Without something like that we could easily get used to spending hours and hours with Anime Studio just pulling our bones around, in a manner of speaking, and never get anything finished.

Now for my nerd critique: Your proportions are way, way, way off. If the sun were of basketball size, your earth would have to be maybe the size of a BB pellet. And don't get me started on how close they are to each other without the earth and chair and room and everything bursting into flames. If they ever need to chat in the future they should probably just skype or something.
Also, just as a sidebar, if you are from the U.S. you've got a pretty ethnocentric earth going on there. (I'm not saying that's a bad thing. That's how we are. U.S.A! U.S.A!)

Ok, just kidding about all that. I'll stop. Long day at work and I'm feeling a little goofy.

[hammerjammer]

If they ever need to chat in the future they should probably just skype or something.

That was funny. Hey Toast I think ddrake just gave you an idea for your next episode of earth visits sun.

Anyway, I thought it was good. Nice artwork. Funny, short and to the point. My only critique would be, PASSION, when you going to have a character screaming or yelling and cursing pour some PASSION into it. Yours was good, but I could tell that you were holding back. Maybe you were recording this in the middle of the night or something. My thought is if your going get a hard time by folks for cursing you might as well go all out. Within reason of course. The swearing didn't bother me. Don't worry about it, I too caught some slack for swearing in one of my first animations I posted on here called "The Snowman". I had four replies and two of them complained about the language. The other two, replies were mine. Clean crowd here I guess. Anyway good job.

Your proportions are way, way, way off. If the sun were of basketball size, your earth would have to be maybe the size of a BB pellet.

OK that was funny too. ddrake got all nerdy on you about the size of the earth and sun, BUT failed to notice that they also were TALKING. So, If were really going to get all nerdy here with details. I'm pretty sure the Earth & Sun cant TALK.

Just kidding Toast and ddrake this is funny stuff.

HammerJammer

[Danimal]

Clean crowd here I guess

Not so much clean as tasteful. If cursing adds nothing then, well, it adds nothing.

And the lack of passion was my main criticism (or is that complaint?) on the acting side of things. Dipping into the "whisper trying to sound like a yell" instantly ruins the scene. The animation can be the best in the universe and that's going to be a distraction. At the same time, the sun it supposed to be mad but sounds more like a guy trying to sound like someone who's mad.

[ddrake]

The swearing didn't bother me. Don't worry about it, I too caught some slack for swearing in one of my first animations I posted on here called "The Snowman". I had four replies and two of them complained about the language. The other two, replies were mine. Clean crowd here I guess.

Yeah, I think Danimal has been one of the toughest on ubiquitous swearing. While I wouldn't say I care particularly one way or the other when it comes to using swearing in dialogue, I'll make a couple points on it and then leave it at that... I think that language choice is important whenever a character speaks in anything, and sometimes to create a believable character in believable situations, swearing is preferred or necessary.

More often though I'm seeing usage for comedic works where I find it mostly unnecessary. I think there's the intention sometimes of "shock-value," which quite honestly I don't think really exists anymore. It's not that I find any of it offensive from that standpoint, I just find it ineffective. Such commonplace use of swearing has rendered it almost expected and therefore carries no payoff. This is why simple beeping of benign words in segments like Jimmy Kimmel's "Unnecessary Censorship" actually works.

Maybe as hammerjammer suggests it's gotta be all or nothing. I personally think finding new swear words, or clever but tasteful ways of saying offensive things is much more entertaining.

The only other point would be to at least tag a clip as NSFW or contains adult language, that way people know what they're getting into.

[toast]

Thank you guys for the critique! All was very helpful!!!! I did record it in the middle of the night, I didn't realize how noticeable it was. Maybe I'll redo it at a later point, we'll see! You guys are awesome! Thank you!