The heck that is my life....

heyvern · Post by **heyvern** » Tue Jun 16, 2009 5:33 am

So... let me fill you in on the last couple of days.

Saturday afternoon I get 3 notices posted on my door. Each has a $50 fine. One is for a broken fence (tree fell down this past winter and I just hadn't fixed it yet). One was for some yard waste in my back yard... uh.. because of the tree. It was a big job and I just hadn't... gotten around to it right away. The third was for my delapidated back deck which I am the first to admit is a bit of an eye sore and needed repairs... uh... replacement.

I do not argue the complaints. The are valid. However the notices indicated I had UNTIL FREAKING TUESDAY TO FIX THEM. So... since about 6pm on saturday evening until... well... until tomorrow (today?) at 4pm I will have and will be working like a madman to fix all these things so some over eager "Code Inorcement" Naz.... officer won't get my money.

I ache from head to toe. I had to hire an unemployed neighbor who dropped everything he was doing on a sunday morning to start helping me (the offer of cash helped of course). Without his help I would be a sawdust, poison ivy covered sweaty corpse lying in the backyard. I still have one more day to finish up but we pulled off a miracle.

Get this. We did not buy ANY LUMBER. We tore down the old deck and built a new smaller one without the need for anything but nails... oh and one 2 x 4.... and a skill saw blade... and some garbage bags... but other than that we built something from nothing which is pretty impressive. I don't think people normally would use a chain saw in that fashion but it was dang fast.

I did however have to purchase a new fence panel to patch the hole in the fence. That isn't part of the deck so it doesn't count.

-vern

chucky · Post by **chucky** » Tue Jun 16, 2009 11:02 am

Vern I totally understand,
Yesterday I walked out of work in this very posh part of Melbourne only to find my motorbike all smashed, and a note barely balanced on it saying" I broke your mirror by accident'.- Thomas
Yeah right, they didn't actually break the mirror, just a whole bunch of other stuff.
So there was a phone number that didn't answer and an obscure map to a place I just rode miles to in the freezing Melbourne evening to where sat a house with smashed windows, very frightened neighbours and a suspicious looking police car cruising around like a shark.
Fan freakin' tastic, I'm still trying to get the last bloke who almost killed me to pay for the damage he did to my previously near pristine and dutifully restored classic bike.

On a lighter note I was wondering this arvo when the orange A would turn blue , well low and behold there it is, a nice shiny blue A.

Hope your yard issues clear up ..

heyvern · Post by **heyvern** » Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:36 pm

Oh good grief! I think that guy who smashed your bike is one of MY neighbors.

Once a while back this guy in a noisy broken down pickup truck would drive through my street at 2 or 3 in the morning, stop in front of one of the houses and honk the horn. This happened 2 or 3 times a week. One night he did this from about 11 to about 2am. Every 30 minutes give or take. I finally came out and told him to USE THE FREAKING PHONE IT'S 2 IN THE FREAKING MORNING!

His reaction prompted me to run inside my house lock all the doors and call the police. I'm good with the tough words but when physical action is required I run away screaming like a little girl.

My only hope in this situation was that since he appeared to be so incredibly lazy he couldn't get out of his truck to knock on someones door or use a telephone, he wouldn't follow up on the several hand gestures and verbal descriptions of various painful acts he promised to perform on me.

I did NOT have to change my pants.

-vern

chucky · Post by **chucky** » Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:50 pm

Maybe it was a Pickup taxi truck....?

Or he saw a parked car with one of those "HONK if you're insane" bumper stickers.

Perhaps there's a "Dial a Cacophony" in your area.

He could have just innocently been honking the swarms of invisible bats that were blocking the road.

heyvern · Post by **heyvern** » Tue Jun 16, 2009 2:01 pm

I believe he was drunk and if asked would have said yes to all of those options.

Almost as bad was the guy who had a girlfriend on my street. He was a truck driver... no... not a pickup truck... a BIG truck. One of those 18 wheelers. at night he would park this monstrous thing on our teen tiny little street.

So one night after carefully squeezing past this behemouth to park my car. There is a knock on my door. It's the police asking me if the truck is mine. I said no. They asked if I knew who it belonged to. Sadly I did. Sadly it was my neighbor dating the truck driver and they were watching TV with the windows open for the summer breeze. I live in a row house.

I've seen this guy and did NOT want to say out loud "Yes officer, he's in that house right next door". I held up my hand and pointed next door. The officers got the point and thanked me and I closed the door and hoped the huge mean looking truck driver would not find out I squealed.

Quite frankly the truck was a huge big fat annoyance. Especially early in the morning when he starts that thing up. I was glad to see it go. It isn't like my little town has the resources to tow one of those things.

-vern

chucky · Post by **chucky** » Tue Jun 16, 2009 2:17 pm

Lucky it wasn't stack parking, that could have been awkward.