Short for an animated series - Icebox

theberg@mysoul.com.au · Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:21 am

Hi. I've completed a 4 minute short that is a concept piece for a proposed series. I used anime studio exclusively and would like some feed back from all of you other anime studio users.

Thanks kindly

http://www.aniboom.com/animation-video/ ... he-Icebox/

Dave

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slowtiger · Post by **slowtiger** » Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:42 am

JATHS ...

Well. Nice character design, that style is OK.

Not good: lack of composition, lack of dynamics in movement, overall much too slow movements, and no visual storytelling at all - switch off the sound, and you don't know what's going on.

Most of that could be fixed. Add more changing expression in the faces, let them move more in 3 dimensions. Spice your backgrounds with more detail. (Either more stuff lying around, or some textures to get rid of the dull monochrome areas.)

It is a really good style, so I think it's worth to put more work into it.

jackass · Post by **jackass** » Tue Sep 01, 2009 12:37 pm

Animation was stiff but the story was funny. This seems to be the kind story for live action but having no resoures you choose animation that my theory.

aleXean · Post by **aleXean** » Tue Sep 01, 2009 7:08 pm

I liked the style and the fact that they live in Antarctica was pretty different. Keep at it, the comedy was good - but the structure needs a little work. Nice one ace!

Danimal · Post by **Danimal** » Wed Sep 02, 2009 11:47 pm

Very nice - I look forward to more. Loosen up the animation a bit and you're got yourself a winner!

theberg@mysoul.com.au · Sat Sep 05, 2009 10:27 am

Thanks for the feed back guys. There are some very valid points there from everyone. In my defence I had to knock the whole thing up in 3 weeks, but I can see the benefit of taking more time to spend on the animation and attention to detail.

I have done more in the same vein - same characters and intended as the beginning of a series. You can see it at:

http://candlestonedave.deviantart.com/a ... -135512302

The above comments are no doubt just as valid with this one as well however further comments would be welcome.

PARKER · Post by **PARKER** » Sat Sep 05, 2009 1:15 pm

Great job.
i liked this a lot especially the character design.

Danimal · Post by **Danimal** » Sat Sep 05, 2009 1:24 pm

That one's good too. In particular I liked the title sequence where everything getting kind of colored in - great effect, how'd you do that?

theberg@mysoul.com.au · Sun Sep 06, 2009 1:58 am

Hi Danimal.

Its just a photoshop file with four layers. One is blank white. The second one is a pencil outline. The third the painted image and the last one is the final image. I just went through and erased piece by piece of each layer and saved each change as a separate png file. I think i imported the sequence of images into Final Cut in reverse order.

I intend to do a better opening title but at the time wanted something thrown together quickly just for the effect.

Dave

Danimal · Post by **Danimal** » Sun Sep 06, 2009 2:16 am

You make it sound so simple - don't sell yourself short. That was very creative of you.

I think that series has tremendous potential. I really hope you produce more!

theberg@mysoul.com.au · Fri Sep 11, 2009 10:27 pm

Thanks Danimal. I really appreciate your comments.